In  recruitment, it is like a marathon. your job doesnt end with a placement on hand, rather you need to keep the momentum, a continuous hunt for more. calm and continuity - possibly something that need to be kept in mind.

Like everything else, living a life is the same continous effort, a marathon. Your life doesnt stop at graduation or scoring the first job. It doesnt stop when you mourn over the loss of someone important nor it stops after you're certain with the presence of someone special. It certainly doesn't stop when you thought you figured life at that particular time. What was right 3 years ago may no longer be applicable, what you wanted few years ago may not have added the same value today, and what you long for today may not be what you need tomorrow. And there comes the need for recalibration, the continuation of adding rational to your acts and thoughts.

I thought I figured what was right, what I wanted, what I needed - but rather, this year I keep on the same cycle of recalibration of what I really really long and need personal and professional wise. You see, you can give a whole world but still you can't buy feelings, and you can get your whole name written all over the mountain, and you still think it is no enough.

infatuation and infidelity.

infatuation comes first, and the act comes later.
I once thought we're never capable to house too many people in our thoughts and hearts. Wrong, we could. Like family, we love each one of them, and with the same capability, we allow people in, and that also with both quality and quantity.

with that comes another question, we take chances in people and most of the times, the same chances are on ourselves. understanding own fears and needs, own strengths, solitude, and loneliness.

when you choose one person, that is because you understand that one person could potentially be the best for you and you choose that person - over your fear of ownself, of loneliness, and even if you fear you'd be out of love. Choose that one person means, you take chance on him, on yourself and allowing life to let that happen, naturally.

4 months to the year of 2019.

You would have never thought how a person eases into another year feeling completely different. Many at stakes - individuality, needs and wants, relationships, friendships and what matter most to you as a person. Changes turn your life upside down but as much as you delve into an adventure of figuring out, you actually go on a search for yourself. Who you are, what you believe, what matters.. and the list never exhausts.

Living by quarter, would not say I have achieved much, but wouldnt say the otherwise too. Met so many people, and loving myself to another level. Be it in a good or bad way, we're only human.

11th December 2018 (also my 11th day of unemployment)!

I cant begin to describe how it feels because all my life post-university, I have always been that one person who is striving at work and look for what is next in the pipeline for me to channel my adventurous side.

Recently, I made my decision to leave a startup-environment company for many good reasons. I was always working in a corporate sphere and my decision to move on to learn design thinking was a leap of faith that I took to experiment my career journey as well as to leverage design thinking as an empowerment tool. As I'm writing at the moment, it was nothing but a regretful experience, the company has no clear direction, always plays the lobbying card, and in a most disheartening way, people are terminated against any of my HR value. When you lose the ability to count on your leadership or management, it is hard to fathom another day of working.

I made my decision to leave so it'll only be fair that I can continuously focus on organizing an Un-Conference that I have been working for 3 months now, a future collaboration with a public university in Kedah vide by Lean In Kedah, as well as focusing on full-time job hunting. It's a hectic December for me all in all but being out of employment drives me anxious and each day becoming real nerve-wrecking. Let's just hope I get to end this period of being out of work and secure my HR job as soon as possible!

Regards,
A

The past week drained the positivity out of me.

My realization includes:
1) Success begets success. And in my case, not feeling one makes me dissapointed and frustrated. I realized how I can be really impatient which makes the process seems very unnatural. I care about making impression which causes unnecessary stress when all I can do is totally be me, and do all I can to nail the task. It really is that simple but human like me, I tend to complicate a lot!
2) I dont get really comfortable working in a team if I dont feel comfortable with them. My system is suggesting me to fall into sleep mode or literally shutting it all down. I feel judged when the truth is, the anxiety of it ruins it all.
3) All these negativity bog me down feeling a little down the whole weekend. The good part is, Afiqah is a a strong lady! She recuperates and determines to do her very best tomorrow when she wakes up!

To everybody out there, everyday is a challenge, and keep your mind in a healthy state all that you can! Positivity is what you consume and if you consume good, InsyaAllah all turns out good too!

P/s: On another note, been having bad flu and after my 10 minutes session- inhaling vicks from water basin and hot turmeric tea( plus honey and lemon), I'm feeling all good now!

Women inspiration and I.

I have been eye-ing different public figures whom had done so well in their lives. Almost jaw-dropping to see those people with so much competence and confidence all packaged and ready,set,go! From instagram stories and posts, to facebook and ted talks, I find it amusingly inspiring to see how much one can achieve given the right mindset. It makes me wanting to do more, to try, and learn from it more!

Today was not a bad day but unfortunately, I cannot pronounce it a fancy day either.
I had a presentation at work and thought, I screwed it a little with my nervousness and anxiety.

So here's the thing, you concsiously aware of how you feel but you cant seem to own your behaviours, which of course leads me to my massive frustration! I dream of wild dreams and unknown wishes to come true, and likewise, I should not be disheartened by this whole process of learning. Oh dear Afiqah, tomorrow is a new day!

Hey, been a while my dear.

Cannot quite recall for how long we have been not in touch, but as I peek at my previous writing, the feel to re-connect and start typing again, blooms!

Our journey here goes beyond every good mark and good phase in life.
My first love got married today, my second one, umph I think still reside in Kedah, the third one- married for years and about to be a dad. How super long is that??! And me?

I am about to be 28, still very single, still very confused, and still sometimes pretty much stuck in situations I cannot even move an inch away.
But still, I am happy. I learn to take one thing at a time. I learn to also acknowledge my emotions, feeling it and eventually, be okay with it.

Options that you create in life is also an indicator of how you choose to walk away from things that make you unhappy and people who drains away all your energy. That trick worked all the times.

Because in the end of the day, that one question that goes in mind, "how long more we have of each other"?

#temporarylife #temporaryworld