two o one one

now i am giving 2010 a major BYEBYE !

now lets start with hopes , new hopes. make it cute one !

* im gonna get my head straight. no more skipping classes.

* shower everyday ! well yeah it is a bothering fact :p -27C IS A CRIME.

* i just have to be more RAJIN ! and the definition for 20 years old RAJIN Is ,

- classes

- homeworks

-study

* get back in shape ! big turn off ! ***khahshhdbbsbdakdj*

*oh yes , getting back in shape means less money spend on food , and that gives me a real meaning of having more savings ! :) $$$$$

* end this bloody winter with good grades ! insyallah :)

* get involve with VOLUNTEERING OR LIBRARY ! i dont need a job but yeah, i need a job and no, and yes and yes bloody yes just give me the job !

* i’ll be back in MALAYSIA in four months time . bingo**

* i just have to start dealing with my mess, my insecurity, internal elements .

* LET GO ! i just have to remind me of that word again and again.

* i guess start loving yourself means.

- no more comparing yourself to others

- no more negativity

- and say bloody bye to misery.

can you do that ?? sure i can !

* savings for winter in VEGAS !

and maybe that is how

2011 should end next year.

i am hoping for better 2011, i do, i really do.

p/s : i am flagging a goodbye flag towards 2010, i know, there were things. good things , bad things that have been a very great teacher during this period, i learn the word, independent, alone, hope, and surviving throughout this twelve months. i know, at this moment. i should be really thankful for all the things that i have been granted and things that i took for granted. but summing up everything, it have been tough. real tough. i am not sure whether, i am spoiled or getting involved with new people. new surroundings. new life. new weather is a real challenge to me. this phase is hard, at least for me. i cant help but to keep living in delusion, as no matter how i want to run, i cant find my way out, no matter i want to cry, i feel so tearless. and worst. i cant even truly figure out my own self. i lost.

i say i lost this first semester battle. well i think i do !

now let’s just mourn over this ” phase ” and get myself ready and fully equipped with new weapons for the next battle.

3 days, 36 hours and that’s all i need to get it over with.

goodluck me.

goodluck you.

goodluck everyone !

cheers 2011 ***