hello wello !

feels like forever since i exerted any kind of force in updating blog, well, nothing much to say. really. life has been like an elevator. it goes up.and it comes down. and to be honest, i kinda sort my own ways in dealing. after almost 6 months here. i think i am finally feeling adapted to this whole unknown matter. unknown place with unknown degrees of temperature, unknown people with unknown attitudes, unknown studies with unknown grades. i used to complain a lot. the way i just cant get things into places. the way i just got myself smile while bearing the fact that nothing suits me here.and the fact that what a non-stop-taking person like me actually fails to make any new friends. well. that hurts! and insanely driving me insane.i can say, i am deeply madly confused. who am i, what am i and things changed.i miss me, the fact that i am dominant in malaysia and here i am just random asian, and to be honest. i feel alienated sometimes. these people. they chill. chill with beers. and me, i am longing for teh ais mamak ! these people. they pretend they know everything, and me. i just have less guts than everyone to point out what my non-stop-nonfacts-facts-brain is actually thinking. but to be honest. i learn. it is not just in classes learning session. but it is a whole loads more.it is more like inferences. you observe and you give reasons. well, there are things that can be concluded and there are also things that require more than that. i miss me. my old version of me. independently not independent. i miss old me who did not know how to cook.i miss me who can be real fun too. i miss me who can talk craps all the times and not feeling guilty.i miss me who refused to know alot of things. i miss me who lives comfortably in my own comfort zone.i miss me who didn't have to carry sands in -30 degrees to cover the snow. i miss what i used to do. i miss how lame i can be and how i used to be.i feel like i missed out alot. i feel like. how i missed so many things out, i used to be apart of them. i used to do what they do, i used to have them as my partime partners. well i kinda miss those kind of things, that wasn't mine anymore, and it took me me kinda sometimes. to actually realize that this is me now. i feel like i am a student,juggling with studies and not so understandable accent of others.juggling with how to survive in a very realistic way. i am so far. super far that even my screams can no longer be heard by familiarity. i have my very own circle of friends now. i have these people whom i thought of as strangers and now i have them as my second family. they are apart of me. people i care, bestfriends, people that i care so much that i wont think of screwing them up, people that i think of as family.weird how we never talk before. and now they are what i have here, people i gotta rely to. and now i realized, i cant go back be the girl i used to be. because this is the growing part. path i chose.the road i taken.to be here. to be in the coldness and to be here. enjoying simple things like bowling and bubble tea.6 months and it has been too long for me to even go back to be how i used to be.