crush, crushes you?

yep, exactly. nothing crushes you more than a crush could. still, no biggie, haha now reader please accept my humor there. what #nobiggie ? when It feels like your heart just got electrified, and so much more than that, it aches. so bad. too bad. talking about physical wound, you can certainly at least find a remedy on that, but what you cant see with internal wound ( like how aches your heart is, hem no remedy to that ). So thank you, I feel like Im a human again, for I have tasted this, the normal depiction of falling in love. People in general do fall in love and we do too fall out of love. 

when I was 15, in all honestly, I did wonder how it feels like to have your love rejected because at that very pre-cious pre-mature moment, I felt i was super super fortunate enough to only reject but never got rejected, Talking about it, now the clock has successfully goes against the clockwise turn. this is an unrequited love. Well, it takes two to tango, no? The feeling? hah. you tell me. All i can say is lifee is truly a merry-go-round. ups and downs but sometimes you just cant help it, you cant force that special somebody to like you back, and for sure If you wanna love, do it with dignity. you sure can cut those sappy unrequited love stories such i-want-to-drink-up-clorox-bottle and without you i'd-rather-cut-my-hand. because those are ridiculous. you know how hurtful it is? sure I know you know we all do know. its like "knife, cuts like a knife", you wanna cry, you wanna end up sobbing all night all day, you wanna dance in the rain, you wanna do lock yourself in a dark room talking to no one and cry your eyes out. meh, At some point, I did that, and I wanna do all that. but then no point in torturing ourself when to love is to begin with ourself. as i am writing this, i am still in doubt. am i finally leaving the point of wanting? maybe not a 100 percent. but we should at least move on.

and to that very fine chap who makes me feel this way. thank you, you're so wonderful in every possible way, I cant thank you enough. even for a single sticker youve sent me on messenger, I am thankful for that. you make me so anxious, so curious, so headache, so in love, so want to do better in life. and the positive changes youve made me gone through, I can never be upset with that.

and

am happy to finally reach out that even without having to be with you, I have family and friends that are so precious to have , to support me, and to be with me. 

I wish you all the goodness in the world and I am about to do the same with myself, even without calling you mine.

jeez, i wana slap me. this is beyond cheesy. just tht God i love him so. still, slap me.