I cannot explain how glad I feel for surviving these recent few months. It have been tough, rocky, and bumpy journey for our family but I cannot help but to feel really really lucky that people around me are people that mean the world to me. You can own every penny in the world but without those who believe in you, those who care, and those who are willing to lend their backbones just so I could put still in this challenging world,  it could have been way harder.

cancer, That word brutally changes everything. Familiar enough we had to put up with the disease when we attended our late aunties. It was hard but no word can challenge how strong the wave is when it hits our own boat. Mom is diagnosed with cancer. The news was dropped as if an atomic bomb was dropped at my face. Our mom is our world, and that is for our family. She cleans, she nags, she manages, she controls, she pays the bills, she ensures everything, she cares, and most of all she loves. She loves us too much and no nothing could ever be as precious as that. 

It is nothing but brutal, mentally and physically. Trying to adapt and making amendment to our routines, our lives, adding commitments, and responsibilities, those are additional attachments that come together with the news. I cannot lie and say it is easy at first stake. No, it is not, in fact it is never going to be one. Trying to be patient, to motivate, to accommodate, to love without whining, to not be tired, it takes the whole out of me to finally accept, to finally appreciate, to finally care without expecting.

I guess I learn love. I learn that family, they are part of you, always and forever. You cannot escape them, you cannot chase them, not because you simply cannot but because you have learned to love them endlessly without conditions.

And strangers who you take in, some of them are just graciously kind. They listen and pick you up when the world turns its back towards you.

Love sustains you and pushes you to the end of the cliff but it is alright, because love, it sustains you.