past few weeks were rough and still rough because it has come to me that actually I may need help and I'm completely in an utter bitter moment despite my giggles and big smiles that i wear everyday. I realized that Im struggling at work without giving much efforts. Im struggling with my time. Always in  butt hurriness. Always rushing from point A to B and it gives me anxious attacks all the time trying to beat the lifestyle. Juggling becomes real hard. I think this later period of my mom's death is getting real hard on me emotionally.I may or may not have gotten into some real emotional problems but I realized how I have not been mourning the way i should. letting myself to take those moments to pause and really think of my mother alone. I have been laughing more than crying when really that is all i need, crying endlessly. and then buckle up with the ever hope that I will feel alright.

Everyday and everyone you meet is a battle for yourself.