The easiest thing to do when facing challenges is to dwell on negative thoughts. How easy? Very easy!

1) You're not competent enough
2) You're not informed enough
3) You're not confident enough
4) You're not ... enough

and sure it gets harder to put a pause there. I'm like that, not most days but there are days when I can totally feel dejected and irritated of circumstances and my lackings. I spent the whole day feeling bogged down with these negative self-thougts due to an event that had happened at work.

Being a human I am, there is a greater Power I need to submit myself to, and I bowed down few minutes ago and now much much recharged.  When I feel so, I get better at managing my clouded mind.

 Upon reflection, I realized I was being harsh and unkind to myself. I refused to give myself time to learn, time to shine, time to accept peoples' ideas and characters and I just cannot accept myself- to not know things. Because of this lack of toleration, I -most of the times are not able to let myself act freely without pressure.

Saddest is, little that I know I am the pressuring factor all this while. Due to my unacceptable ego level, I think I have my fair share of losing a person who actually means a lot to me. I shut down all my functional system due to me pressuring own self to behave and act in a certain way. When things dont get the easy way I am always expecting, my whole system collapses and I totally become dysfunctional (and unable to find the bounce-back factor) to that situation.

Realizing it is step one but to act on it is the next-not easier thing to commit. But again, chill Afiqah chill. When we wake up tomorrow, pretty sure my buddy partner- Afiqah and I, we'll somehow find our way to make it a better day, InsyaAllah.

If there is any word you can offer yourself, say nice things about yourself. If there is anything you can give to yourself, give the kindness your self shall always receive.