It have been quite a hectic weekend and weekdays for me. So that's the deal, finding motivation to go out of bed, kickass doing something useful than just staying in can be challenging. I have my days, days where I just don't feel the need to work super hard, or I did, and got super tired, my whole system refusing all sort of hardwork. And it happens to be all these 3-4 days.

Today is much better I assume. I am in pain of this anxiety I could not decide why. It started with figuring out that we (I) missed out few employees' pension contributions. Crazy! How manual and inefficient the whole processes are but of course that does not justify that the 1) processes are tardy 2) quality checks done were not proper 3) and I just missed it.

So today, I decided (of course with my colleagues' support, so blessed!) to own the mistake. Contacted one of the employees, talked to the payroll analyst, communicated the problem to our Team Lead and looking forward for the response. Fuh! all in just one night. Haven't figured all about it and how to move forward, but of course step 1 of owning my own mistake teaches me something. I somehow feel good that I am trying to fix it rather than hiding those under the carpet. What is wrong, is wrong and what needs a fix, will require a fix.

Thats-work!

Personal-wise, no nothing serendipity just yet but I pray that God will give me all the courage I need to let go of someone who is never meant to be mine. Is a person ever meant to be anyones'?
Probably not the case, but that is the major cause to my anxiety.  My yearning is causing too much pain knowing that future is never guaranteed. I figured of how I can become so greedy, so wanting of a person without considering if that is His will, or will it be good for the two of us.  Sometimes, it happens, we come up with so many wants, hurt and it never heals. Okay, that is probably too bitter. But I pray that God will ease this pain so easily. InsyaAllah, you're my God!